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10/25/2003 Entry: "Bagels"

With a birthday party yesterday and today, and a shortage of scratch to boot, I killed two boids with one boulder and baked a dozen bagels. People are always asking me, "Mr. Seezen, how do you do it?" Well, little buddies, this here is the best recipe that I could find. But the website's layout is ugly as a monkey's butt and not printer friendly in the least. I do a few things differently:

--I add two eggs. Just because I like cracking eggs. So you'll need a bit more flour.

--I double the salt. Baker's dirty little secret: always double the salt. Of course this will slow down the rising a bit. Just make sure to keep the gneaded dough real cozy. I set the bowl on a wet towel on my Dauerbrenner and keep an eye on it. The towel is wet so I will hear it sizzling if it gets too hot.

--I shape the bagels (I subscribe to Tak's "hula hoop thing" methodology) first then let them sit 20 minutes. This gives the little bastards time to ease into their new shape and smooth out. As you can see here, my bagels are a lot better looking than hers for that very reason. I don't know if she knows it but you know her mother-in-law noticed it and casually mentioned it four of five times to the son/husband, right after taking one look at their house on that last visit and declaring it "could use a woman's touch".

--I brush on eggwhite to make the toppings stick. Duh.

--Use bread (550) flour, not flour (405) flour. It makes all the difference in the world, yo. Remember, it's 550 or fight (that's why we almost went to war with Canada).

--Let em boil longer if you want. I listen to Mp3s on the computer in the next room and go by verses, not seconds.

Remember, If it ain't boiled, it's just a roll with a frickin' hole.