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11/01/2005 Entry: "Fk christenin'"

Jesse came by when I was boiling bagels for Annet's hauswarming party and had mentioned the festivities going down at the FK this weekend.

He said he might go down there dressed as Jesus. Not really a stretch for him; he'd just need to change his shoes.

He mentioned this one guy who went on a celebrity cruise a few years ago. The boat sank in a nasty storm and he washed up on a deserted island with Claudia Schiffer. They were stranded for years and the two castaways became eventually fast friends and passionate lovers.

After five years, Claudia went to her mate and said, "my love, you have been there for me all these years. Tell me: is there anything I could do to make you happy?"

Upon which he said, "here. Put on my pants." Claudia donned his pants without questioning.

"Here. Take my shirt." And Claudia Schiffer put on his shirt.

Then he said, "now take this seaweed and wear it on your face so it looks like a beard." Claudia shrugged, but did what he asked.

"Hey buddy," said the man. "Guess who I've been sleeping with."

And it was much funnier when Jesse told it.