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03/04/2007 Entry: "can't fine my glock"

Can't find my Glock
It was a startling feeling when sitting in the cinema I realized that I couldn't find my Glock. I was panicked and looked everywhere as if in a fever. But then, in a rare spell of lucidity due to the fact that I allowed myself a long weekend lie in, I remembered that I don't and never intend to own a gun. I realized that this part of the dream was residue from watching Rob's video he made for his dad's birthday; his dad always packed heat on his way to and from the garage he ran, thus making humourous fodder for the video.

Recipe time
Potato Zucchini soup

This is a recipe that Julie improvised this week and got rave reviews.

Starting by heating up onions or the like in oil in the bottom of the pot until they are transparent, chop 3 or 4 zucchinis and volume-wise the same amount of peeled potatoes. Add them to the pot and let them steam for a few minutes. Then add about a liter of soup stock, first covered until you get a good boil, then let it boil off the excess liquid for about 15 minutes, until the water line is down to the tops of the veggies.
Meantime, add a palm full of curry, a little less of 5 spices, some salt and pepper to taste. When your girlfriend isn't looking, add a tiny bit of chili powder.
You should be stirring now and then the entire time.
When the water has evaporated down so it doesn't look so soupy, take that pot off the heat and apply the puree wand to the equation until it looks like baby food.
Put it back on a low heat to keep it hot and maybe boil off any excessive wateriness. Keep the heat low, yo; if it bubbles up you'll have a mess on your hands.
Serve with a dollop of sour cream on top. Dee-lish!

Bagel Dogs

Using the standard bread dough recipe and throwing some dogs in the mix, you can attain bagely dogglieness unattainable by just buying them at the store--if you have a Sam's card

Just for giggles: Dough for bread (and bagels) recipe --look Ma, no cups-- can be found below.

Dividing the dough into 12 parts, roll them out into oblong shapes longer than the length of the weeners. I forgot my rolling pin, so I used the jar the sausages came in.
Roll up sausages in the dough. Go ahead and allow a couple of layers, then pinch up the seam and cut off the excess dough. You'll probably have a bit more dough than needed for a dozen dogs.

Start boiling up a pot or wide saucepan of water with a little salt and a spoonful of molasses. Go ahead and preheat the oven to hot.

Keep on rolling up them dogs, always laying them seamside down. Giving them a few minutes like this helps smooth out the profile as the dough reconciles itself.

Optional, but awesome: brush with eggwhite, sprinkle with sesame or onion pieces or poppy seeds.

With the water boiling, give your dogs a boiling bath. Boil them for a minute or two; try to turn them over halfway through.

Bake them on a parchment baking sheet for about 20 minutes.

Letting them cool off a tad, they are ready to eat while still hot. Still, true to bagel dog styley, I think they are even better when heated up the next day in the microwave.

Serve with mustard!

Sponge:
Put one coffee mug of full-on hot-ass tapwater in a big-ass bowl.
Add a generous spoonful of sugar or honey.
Add a handful of flour (bread flour i.e. 550 is the best)
Add a packet of yeast, or as I prefer, a cube of fresh yeast. With the addition of the other stuff, the water should now still be hot, but at any rate not too hot for our fungal buddies that make it all happen.

Go start to clean your room. Decide that it is a bigger mess than you thought, and decide to first clear out the plates, then gather up dirty clothes. By this time you should check on the sponge.

Mixing

If it's been 15 minutes, you should have a nice fluffy pile of foam with big dreams in your bowl. Time to add:
More flour. How much? Just mix and see. Add eggs if you want; a little oil will help to keep the bread from drying out overnight. Add a palmful of salt -- important for taste, but too much will make your bread a salty bastard and keep the dough from rising. Too little will make the dough tasteless. Be brave. Make a little pile in the hollow of ye palm. Toss it in and what's stuck to your hand over your left shoulder just to show Satan who's boss.

Mix in that flour until you have a stiff, stringy mess, then dump it on your clean counter and get to kneading. Listen to two songs (or one Almann Brother's tunes) while kneading. Imagine yourself being filmed from the shoulders up, and supposed that that would probably look like you're in a porno film. You are! That's the magic you are making. Mmmmm.... Bread...

You should now have a spongey slightly sticky boob. If you scraped out your bowl properly, now need to wash it out. A drizzle of oil in the bowl, dough in, roll it round one time, cover with clean towel, let it sit until doubled in size. My experience shows that 45 minutes is enough, but with dry yeast it seems to take longer.

Get back to cleaning your room in the meantime, ya slob. What? Clean room? Well, go do some laundry, or call your mom.

After doubling in size, you can punch it down and get right to business, or knead it a few times and let it rise again for a bit longer. Nonetheless, your dough is ready to rock.