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10/31/2003 Entry: "Who nailed 95 feces to the door?"

Happy Reformation Day to you
Happy Reformation Day to you,
Happy Reformation Day dear Protestants,
Happy Reformation Day to you.

Now go reform something. As for me, I am going trick-or-treating. It'll be awesome. I've got a pillowcase, and a costume. Of course, nobody in the Neustadt will be expecting me. That's the beauty of it all; guerrilla jubilation. I'll have to rile em up into holiday spirit. One door at a time.

I'm going dressed as a pimp, although it might prove to be a tad too chilly for that. I only have Summer pimpware, and my white floppy hat certainly offend --it is, after all long after Labor Day.

A lot of people write me to ask where pimp threads can be found. You can look in vintage clothing stores, but real pimps are frugal pimps. You'll need that extra scratch for bling-bling. So it is better check out the Salvation Army store. Have one of the clerks direct you to the pimp section, which is usually mislabled as the women's section.
Now, the trick is not to find the craziest looking clothes, but to find the most pimpin' ensemble. If the entire outfit lacks complete pimpherence from top to bottom, people will just think you are on your way out to play some golf.
Also, people tell me they get all pimped up and then people just assume they are flamboyantly gay, an unintended side effect. Well, that is obviously because you forgot to work on your pimptitude.
There are not enough hours in a day to even begin to describe what that all entails, but there is a wealth of information available at you local library in both fiction and non. Just ask the librarian. Librarians will be glad help, because they are like pimps, too. Book pimps.

The Eve of All Hallows is a funny little holiday. It is undeniably a holiday about death. Yet it has nothing to do with evil or the Devil, for those of you believe in fairies and stuff. Fundamentalists get uppity about Halloween, which is fueled ultimately by a tirelessly self-sustaining haze of misinformation and ignorance. So read this if you want to.

We have to be careful not to assume all Christians are fundamentalists. The church of my youth, the United Methodist, whilst oft being disdained and scorned by Southern Baptists, does not hold to the dogma of inerrancy. We had a Halloween festival every year.

Of course, some churches don't ignore or play along with Halloween. Some
embrace, gut, and reinvent it for their own agendum, which is even worse.

Replies: 2 comments

I went to the Neustadt today, or is it I have gone to the Neustadt today?

Posted by Cheetster @ 10/31/2003 05:58 PM CST

I'm going dressed as myself, I am Elvis. I will also being in the near of the Neustadt.

Posted by Elvis @ 10/31/2003 08:38 AM CST